So what do you do? Run? Hide? Go on social media and start talking with your local police department?
OK, so the police want you. Even more than want you… you’re literally listed as one of their most “Wanted.”
If you’re Anthony Akers of Richland, Washington, you’d choose the social media one.
The Richland Police department posted a photo of Akers asking for tips on his whereabouts.
Because Anthony is a badass, he responded to the post:
“Calm down, I’m going to turn myself in.”
And because, screw it, it’s 2019 – the Police Department social media account kept the conversation going when he hadn’t turned himself in yet:
“Hey Anthony! We haven’t seen you yet.”
Akers kept the party alive:
“Tying up a couple loose ends since I will probably be there for a month. Should be there in the next 48 hours.”
At some point during all the absurdity (oh, yes, there’s more), the PD asked, “Is it us?” Akers, who apparently had plenty of time to himself, since he was still not in jail yet, wrote:
“Dear RPD, it’s not you, it’s me. I obviously have commitment issues. I apologize for standing you up, but let me make it up to you. I will be there no later then lunchtime tomorrow, I know you have no reason to believe me after what I did to you, but I promise that if I don’t make it on my own by lunchtime tomorrow I will call for a ride to assist me with my commitment issues. Thank you in advance to your response if you are patiently giving me another chance with us, I know I don’t deserve it. P.S. You’re beautiful”
Thankfully, the last chapter of this book ends with Akers taking a selfie and the post “Here for our date sweetheart,” just as he was walking into the police department.God bless social media.Imagine we’re living in a world now where criminals are relaxed enough to chit-chat with the police, while they’re on the wanted list.Akers was being sought for “failure to comply,” and it’s unclear what that actually means. What it doesn’t mean is failure to comply with knowing how to use Facebook. He’s crushing the social media game.Unfortunately, as of press time, he was not live streaming from his jail cell.